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Post by Ichigo Sumiregawa on Jul 1, 2006 7:40:29 GMT -5
He shivered a bit when the other’s lips were on his hand. Des could feel the other’s excitement over his blood, but this was the least he could do. He wondered what would have happened if he hadn’t been the one to choose Sho. Perhaps the other would have found someone kind to look after him. Maybe the other would have found a better life if he’d been with someone kind. Des had only had one person ever be kind to him and now that person was dead. That’s why, he didn’t understand Sho’s kindness. Somehow…he was also afraid of it. He was scared Sho would die too. He didn’t want that to happen at all. But even so, it seems he had already gone too far and hurt Sho badly. He needed to be punished for this. He needed to be punished for a long of things. Des wanted to scream some more, but he didn’t. Instead he decided to lie down next to Sho. Just for a second, he’d enjoy this. Right now, he was too tired for anything and he wanted to feel the other. For some reason, he really liked Sho. It wasn’t like he’d known the other for very long and they weren’t exactly on best terms, but when Sho was nice to him like this, he couldn’t help but blush. Even though they’d already gone very far, he liked the other’s light touches more.
When the other did things on his own instead of following orders, it made Des feel happy. It was an odd feeling. He didn’t really understand this at all. It wasn’t like he’d ever crushed on someone or anything of the sort. But…could this be a crush? He didn’t know, but this was wrong. There was no way he could crush on this person. It would be wrong for him to think he had a chance to be with this person. Des rolled over onto his side so he wouldn’t look at the other. The boy didn’t want the other to see his crying face. He didn’t want he other to continue to see him crying. Maybe he was just ashamed. He didn’t want the other to see what kind of person he really was. Sho had seen enough and even though the other already hated him, Des didn’t want the other to become closer to him. It hurt more when someone was close to you. He wasn’t stupid. Sho probably thought he was worse than dirt. This person didn’t want anything to do with him. Even so, Des wouldn’t forget what they’d done. It had been his first time, so he wanted to remember that. The other didn’t need to know this. It was better if Sho thought he did this sort of thing often. That way, the other would think he was just someone cheap.
It wasn’t like he wanted Sho to think he liked him or anything. Des was sure the other would mock him if he found out about his feelings. It seemed like everyone always made fun of him. But Des hated that. He didn’t want the other to do that to him. But he wondered what the other thought of him right now. Did Sho think he was pathetic for being this messed up in the head? Probably. He couldn’t help but grip onto the sheets and try not to make any noise. The last thing he wanted was for the other to see him as he was now, crying and stupid. Maybe he should just send Sho back. That might actually be for the best. The other had a chance to find someone he liked if he was sent back, but then again, he might get punished if he was sent back. Des really didn’t know what to do. It wasn’t like he could just ask Sho…well…he could…but then the other would think he cared for him and Des didn’t want the other to figure anything out just yet. Well, he didn’t want the other to figure anything out period. Desmond knew that the other wouldn’t share his feelings and he didn’t think he could take being shot down, so it was better to not say anything at all. It was better to just stay quiet about everything and pretend nothing had happened. After all, pretending was what he was best at.
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Post by Braise on Jul 2, 2006 12:59:15 GMT -5
Sho found that he liked it much more when Des was being nice to him. Like the time in the car when he'd been bought. He'd liked des from the beginning there and had counted himself lucky to have such a master. After being raped twice and almost killed, he hadn't been sure of his feeling for Des, but now he was. Because no matter what facade the other put up, he was still the same boy who had seen him in his cage and come to take him out of it. The vampire frowned when his master turned away. Was he really that ugly to look upon? He'd have to fix that. He wanted to look his best for his master and if that included fixing himself up just for him, he'd do it. Maybe cutting his hair? It had been so long and shiny before but now...now it lacked luster and was tangled. If he cut it, the pretty ebony would come back and contrast with his pale skin.
Sho didn't think he could sleep as he was, huddled on the floor. He was so tired and wanted the pain in his arm to go away, so the only solution was to sleep. He pushed himself up, crawling onto the bed to lie behind his master, heis body dwarfing the smaller one. The bed was smaller than he thought and he was so close to Des he could smell the blood and whatever sedative they had given the other. He watched the others shoulder shake and thought maybe he was cold before realizing, sadly, that Des was crying. Not only was he in pain, but he was crying too. The weak pet reached out and trailed one finger down the center of the others back in an I.....He could write a message, see if Des could figure it out. He and his friends had done it when they were really small. Carefully and slowly he wrote out the letters. B...E.....S...T....R....O...N...G.......D...O...N...T......C...R...Y. Something he remembered his mother telling him from when he was a baby. maybe the words would be comfort, maybe not. If nothing, everyone liked the feel of having their back stroked....
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Post by Ichigo Sumiregawa on Jul 3, 2006 11:21:31 GMT -5
The other felt Sho’s touch on his back. It took him a second to realize what the other was doing, but he finally did. He wasn’t sure what Sho was up to. Thinking about Sho made his heart hurt. He only felt even guiltier about doing all those things to the other. He couldn’t help that he was this way and it wasn’t the other’s fault. Sho didn’t have to suffer because of this, but he was anyway. The boy slowly turned around so that he was facing the other, though he didn’t look the other in the eye and kept his head under Sho’s chin. It was easier to fall asleep when he was with the other like this. He hadn’t said anything before because he was embarrassed. He didn’t want the other to think he was some kind of dork or anything. He couldn’t help it that he was acting like a school girl with a crush when the other was nice to him. The boy found himself tilted his head upwards and kissed the neck lightly. He rubbed his cheek against the other’s and slid his hand down the other’s shorts so that it rested on his thigh. Sho was warm and he rather liked that about the other. He had always liked how the other’s skin was smooth and warm. It made him happy to touch the other like this.
“They all hate me because I’m a freak…” he whispered. “You hate me too…because…I’m not normal… But hey…even if you don’t like me…is it…alright to love you…?”
In his sleep deprived mind, Des had no idea what he was saying. He hadn’t rested properly in a while and he was too tired to care about what was coming out of his mouth. The boy had always been one that was easily embarrassed despite his hard attitude. That’s why it was probably better that he wasn’t fully aware of what he was doing. If he had known he was snuggling against the other, he would have screamed at the very least. But right now, the boy wasn’t very aware of anything. It wasn’t until the boy was fully asleep that the maids dared to come in. They weren’t very fond of the boy and didn’t want to be hurt by him. He had once stabbed a maid in the arm and had her in the hospital for weeks. To them, the boy was a dangerous person. He wasn’t someone you wanted to mess with unless you had a death wish. No one really understood what the boy wanted or what he was feeling when he hurt himself and others. It was something none of them would ever be able to understand. The girls tended to Sho’s wounds without so much as looking him in the eye. Like their master, they were also avoiding Sho. It wasn’t like they wanted to get involved with either of them. They had already decided not to speak with either and stay out of trouble.
Sho was informed that the doctor would be by tomorrow in the morning to check up on him and Des. The family had their own doctor and didn’t let Des see anyone else. Sho was getting a check up to make sure Des didn’t get anything from the other. Their doctor was hired mostly because he knew how to keep his mouth shut about things that weren’t his problem and wouldn’t take to anyone about Des’ problems. The man had never once mentioned to Des his scars or asked him what he did to himself. As far as the doctor was concerned, it wasn’t his issue unless he was getting paid. He didn’t make money caring about others. Everyone knew about Des and no one cared enough to do something about it. They raised an eyebrow at the fact that the boy still had his hand inside the other’s pants and was practically molesting him but did nothing more than stare a little. Des was definitely asleep and it wasn’t their problem that he was feeling up his pet at the moment. After all, Sho belonged to Des and therefore had no say in what his master did. With that thought, the girls left the room again, leaving Sho and Des alone again.
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Post by Braise on Jul 3, 2006 20:06:32 GMT -5
Sho held Des comfortably, wincing a bit when he had to lift his bad arm to put it around his master. Once it was there, there would be no moving it. He felt better when Des turned and snuggled into him. He liked having the smaller body pressed to his, so trusting and comfortable. Not just after being told to do bad things against his will, but after comforting him like this. He found that he liked the other's red hair tickling his chin and the way the boy curled ever so slightly to fit just so. Des kissed his throat and rubbed his cheek, and the touches were so affectionate he blushed lightly. Sho tensed just slightly when a hand snaked down his shorts but relaxed. It didn't go any furthur than lying on his thigh. If Des had gone just a bit lower he would find one of his scars from being beaten with a glass bottle way back in the beginning of his time at In Between. The bottle had busted when he'd curled into a ball but the guard hadn't stopped. He'd hit the shivering teen Sho until he had cuts lining his thigh and side, only stopping when the bottle was too broken up to use anymore. The vampire shivered and listened to Des speak. He liked the boys voice when he wasn't screaming. It was sort of...soothing.
The words startled him, made him want to argue, but it was too late. Des had fallen asleep and the maids were coming in. They had waited specifically for Des to drop off and that angered him. They shouldn't treat such a troubled boy like this! He glared at each and every one but they didn't look at him, merely cleaned him up and told him the doctor would be in tomorrow. Good thing, he didn't think he could live with the pain in his arm any longer. Only after they left did he sigh and free his good arm, bringing it up to brush crimson hair from his masters face. "You're not a freak," he whispered," you're hurt and it's okay to scream when you hurt......I don't hate you. In fact if you.....if you love me I think i'd like to love you back. I've never had anyone love me before....that'd be nice..." He knew the boy was sleeping and would, most likely, not hear him. The vampire knew Des would go back to being cold to him, possibly forcing him into sex yet again, but he wouldn't care. For now, for this moment in time and the rest of the night, he could pretend that Des knew his feelings, that Des loved him back because he did love him. Pretending would come easy, he could do it.
((my brother's on right now. I'll try to get on later tonight!!))
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Post by Ichigo Sumiregawa on Jul 5, 2006 8:51:19 GMT -5
When Des woke up, he noted it was still dark outside. The clock on his nightstand told him it was early in the morning, but he didn’t want to stay in bed with Sho anymore. By the looks of it, it was going to rain again today. Des didn’t want to admit it, but he liked the rain. He slept better when it was raining, but maybe having Sho with him had helped too. He found himself looked at the other for a second before slipping out of bed. Sho looked peaceful and calm. Des didn’t want to ruin that and he knew his very presence disturbed the other. The boy took some clothes from the dresser and walked out of the room. He took refuge in the hall bathroom and hoped Sho would remain asleep for a little while longer. He didn’t want to deal with the other just yet. It was embarrassing after sleeping with him like that and besides, he had already promised himself he’d stop being around Sho. It was better this way and the other could forgot him if he wasn’t around. He had hurt his pet enough and didn’t want to cause any more trouble. It was cowardly to just run away from the other, but Des had never claimed to be brave. He didn’t think he could meet the other in the eyes anymore. It was like the other was calling him a monster without even having to say the word.
The boy undressed quietly and got into the shower. He noted the cuts on his arms were going to leave more scars, but he didn’t really care. A few scars wouldn’t hurt him. He already had so many and a few more wouldn’t change anything. Besides, it wasn’t as though he was beautiful or anything stupid like that. Nothing he did was going to make him attractive, so it didn’t matter if his body was messed up. No one really cared what he did to himself anyway. Maybe they all wanted him to die or something. It wasn’t like any of them had ever tried to stop him or even said anything. Even when they found him bleeding they were told to shut up about it. He wondered how far he could go before someone could say anything. He chuckled softly. It might be fun to watch them all scream in disgust. He turned off the water when he was finished and stepped out. He grabbed a towel and dried himself off. His hair was still wet and was even straighter than usual, if that was at all possible. He slipped on some clothes which consisted of tight leather pants, a tight long sleeved shirt, and black boots. As usual, his clothes were all black. Des wasn’t one for color and preferred things as dark as possible.
With that done, he proceeded to dry his hair as much as possible. He didn’t like to use the blow-dryer and just used a towel to get rid of the water in his hair. He then proceeded to put some heavy eyeliner on his eyes and lipstick on his lips. He would have worn a short sleeved shirt, but he had gotten sick of wearing those. The boy combed his hair a little and looked himself over in the mirror. He looked ready to hit the clubs, though he really didn’t have anywhere to be at the moment. He supposed he could go out and do something, but it wasn’t like he was in the mood. He liked it better when he wore these types of clothes, even if it was just inside the house. People looked at him when he wore clothes like this and he found them to be comfortable. The boy sighed and stepped out of the bathroom, not even bothering to pick up his clothes. He knew the maids would get them later anyway. The boy walked downstairs to get something to eat. He wasn’t really that hungry and he didn’t eat very much, but it was something to do. The house was silent again for the most part. People were probably still asleep, but he knew everyone would leave soon. His siblings always had something to do and people to meet. His mother…was never home for the most part. She just slept here and did everything else outside. Sometimes she didn’t even bother coming home. Des sighed again and made his way into the kitchen.
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Post by Braise on Jul 8, 2006 20:39:01 GMT -5
Sho awoke late in the morning, when the sun was trailing warm fingers over his body. He felt more rested than he ever had before and moved a little, noticing the weight gone from his good arm, the one Des had been sleeping on. He cracked open blue eyes, searching for his master, finding an empty room. Well, besides the doctor now coming in the door. The maids must have showed him in. He sat up, clutching his arm to his chest, wondering how much this was going to hurt and just what was going to happen. The doctor was an older man, he had probably been taking care of the family for years, maybe way before Des' mother was born. He wasn't really part of the family, so he wasn't sure why they were wasting a good doctor on him, but no matter. If the guy could take the pain away, he'd be much happier.
The man had him just lay back against the pillows, instructing mainds to hold him down. He wasn't sure why but he was certain that the doctor was going to hurt him. True enough, the man took hold of his arm and bent it out, the exact way he had been trying to avoid. The vampire cried out and arched, trying to scrabble away. In his weaken from pain state, he didn't get too far. The maids held him down, one even sitting on him, insulting him by straddling his waist. As far as he was concerned now, only one person could do that. And Des was nowhere to be found. He woiuld've liked for the boy to be here now, a distraction from what was happening. But it wasn't to be. Even if Des had said he loved him last night, he couldn't confirm the feelings, and Des had no reason to be here in any of his moments of pain or need. He was the pet-the distraction and the tool. He moved his head and bit down on his own lip, clenching his jaw when the doctor snapped the bone back into place. It was still broken, he said, so he was going to set it and cast it.
Sho merely whimpered as the doctor went about it, giving him some sort of pain reliever in a syringe after everythign was done. The maids left then, hurrying out of the door as the man packed up. Sho curled his casted arm to his chest, wondering how long it would take to heal. He didn't know, but he did know that he had been neglecting his duties for the two days that he'd been here. It was time to actually do something other than become his masters whore. Sho waited for the doctor to leave before he got out of the bed and fixed himself up, dismayed at the blood on his clothes from last night. It wasn't as if he could help it......he had nothing else to wear. He moved out of the room and down the hall. He had food to cook and a boy to clean up after. The vampire set himself and walked into the kitchen, making himself as inconspicuous as possible so he wouldn't bother his master who was moving around. The pain reliever dulled his senses and made him tired, but he ignored it.
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Post by Ichigo Sumiregawa on Jul 10, 2006 9:21:09 GMT -5
He watched Sho out of the corner of his eye and almost cursed. How was he going to avoid the other when he came up everywhere? It wasn’t like he could just make himself invisible or anything and it wasn’t like Sho was going anywhere. He wrinkled his nose at the stat of the other’s clothes. He needed to get Sho some proper clothes. He didn’t know where his mother had run off to and he was sure his siblings were around…somewhere. Well, maybe not in the house…but somewhere… It wasn’t his job to keep track of his family members and he was glad for it since he never knew here they were. It was like they all had their lives and where never around. Maybe they thought he had no life? Which was soooo untrue! He had a life! He…had tutors…and went out when his mother forced him to… Okay, so maybe that wasn’t much of a social life, but it was a life nonetheless. Maybe the reason they never invited him along to any of their outings was because they thought he was a loser who didn’t know how to have fun?! He never understood how the minds of his siblings worked, but what if they really thought that?! Des took a seat at the kitchen table and tried to understand what his siblings were thinking, though he had no idea why he was thinking about this. Suddenly, he stood up, eyes blazing with determination.
“I’ll show you who has a life!” Exclaimed the boy as he pumped his fist into the air. “Sho! We’re off to do teenage things that I secretly find stupid but am doing anyway to prove a point! Let’s go! To the mall!”
By now, the entire household was used to Des’ random personality. Every so often, he’d get some weird idea into his head and try to do everything possible to prove his point or something of the sort. Of course, it was always a failure, but no one ever mentioned that to Des or they’d get snapped at. It wasn’t every day, though that Des walked down the hall waving his fist in the air and ranting about how teenagers loved the mall. Des hated the mall. If anything, he found the place to be boring and prison like. Suddenly, the boy remembered something and ran back upstairs. The maids shook their heads at his antics. As long as it didn’t make more work for them, they didn’t mind Des doing what he wanted. They heard a thump and shook their heads again. Sometimes, Des was really clumsy and tended to trip when he wasn’t paying attention or was over excited. The boy soon came back downstairs with clothes in his arms. He had a pair of black dress pants, a navy blue dress shirt, a pair of shiny black shoes, a pair of silk black boxers, and a white undershirt. They noted that the clothes belonged to Des’ brother and knew Vincent wouldn’t be pleased. Of course, Vincent was never pleased…or pleasant for that matter.
Talking to him was like talking to a brick wall. The guy never said more than he had to and always bluntly told you what he thought. He didn’t really consider anyone’s feelings in thighs and tended to be a cold kind of person. He made Des seem like a pleasant person to be around despite his craziness. Desmond soon found his way to the kitchen, nearly falling down again onto the tiled floor. He dropped the clothes onto the floor and chanted ‘Mall! Mall! Mall!’ as he did so. When he noticed Sho wasn’t moving, he decided to do things himself. He grabbed the clothes he had dropped and put them in Sho’s arms. The teen ran out of the room again and asked for the car to be prepared. He could get Sho some clothes of his own while they were at the mall. Of course, Des then remember that Sho had a broken arm and would probably need help getting dressed. He didn’t want to go back to the kitchen, but he knew he should. The boy shyly stood against the wall in the hall and asked if the other needed help, not wanting to enter the actual kitchen. He didn’t want to hurt the other or make him think he would do anything to him, but he didn’t know how to say that.
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Post by Braise on Jul 11, 2006 17:28:44 GMT -5
Sho blinked when Des said his name, turning to watch the boy punch the air in enthusiasm. Most definately a change from yesterday.....He stood in the kitchen, even after his master left, wondering if he should follow. He hadn't heard the entire statement and the pain killer in his system was making him groggy. Soon his master was coming back with an armload of clothes-nice, expensive looking clothes. He dropped them on the floor and Sho wondered who they were for. He was answered soon enough when Des picked them up again and put them into his arms, jostling his broken one. He clenched his jaw and hissed but clutched the clothes nonetheless.
Des left again and Sho supposed he should get dressed. There was no one around, so that was alright. He sorted them out in a chair and undressed as best he could, quickly tugging the boxers on. They were lopsided a bit and hung on his hips, but that was alright. The undershirt came next. It was harder to put on over his cast and it took him awhile but he got it on, liking the feel of these clothes better. When Des called in to ask him if he needed help Sho sighed in relief. "Yes....please," he wondered why Des just didn't walk in. He wouldn't mind. Secretly, he liked the way his little master looked at him. He stepped into the pants and pulled them up, trying to button and zipper them with no such luck.
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Post by Ichigo Sumiregawa on Jul 20, 2006 22:30:06 GMT -5
He was sure his face was as bright as a tomato. When he walked into the room, his footsteps were light and soft. He stepped in front of Sho and kneeled down in front of him. His fingers were a bit clumsy at the moment, but he managed to button up the other’s pants and zip them up without much hassle. He looked at the walls, the items on the counter, and even the floor, anywhere by at Sho’s face. He knew the other was looking at him, but he wasn’t sure he could return the gaze. Though he didn’t want to say anything, he was rather embarrassed at the moment. It was hard to look at the other, so he didn’t even try. There weren’t many times Des was embarrassed. He’d seen more than this before, yet his cheeks couldn’t help but turn red. It was a rather odd thing he supposed. He had never been attracted to someone the way he was with Sho. He didn’t know what he was supposed to do about his feelings. It wasn’t like the other felt anything towards him. He couldn’t let himself be confused and think that they shared something because there was nothing there. This person didn’t love him at all and there was no way they were ever going to have anything. Still, a guy could dream.
Des rather liked it when he pretended. It was what he was good at. There wasn’t anything else he could do besides pretend. His whole life was like one large play. Everyone had their lines well rehearsed and never went out of their role. They all had their own purpose and followed the rules carefully. Everything was just one huge lie. He didn’t like the way things were, but it wasn’t like he could change them. It wasn’t like he could do anything to make his life any better than it already was. Maybe someday something good would happen because all he ever felt was pain. The same things happened over and over again. It was rather boring when he thought of it. He wanted something to happen to change that. Even though he was terrified of change and liked stability, he hated the way things were right now even more. Strange he supposed. Then again, he couldn’t consider himself to be the sanest person alive. If he were sane, his face wouldn’t be so red right now and his hands wouldn’t be trembling as he helped Sho with his shirt. Though he didn’t want to admit it, he was scared. He was scared of the kind of person he’d become and scared of Sho rejecting him. He knew the other hated him and it hurt deep inside. Maybe that’s why he couldn’t stop shaking at the moment. That was probably it.
“H-Hurry up,” he urged the other. “I don’t have all day to wait for you! So move faster…”
That wasn’t the real problem. The real problem was the fact that he was so nervous right now and couldn’t seem to come up with the right things to say. He felt so tense and like Sho would just come right out and attack him. Of course, Sho wouldn’t do that. The other was timid and shy, which made Des feel even worse about taken advantage of him. He’d never done those kinds of things, but he knew it was awful to be forced into them. But he couldn’t help but like it when the other embraced him. Somehow, he felt…wanted. For a second he could fool himself into thinking the other thought he was attractive or something dumb like that. Those were the stupid kind of thoughts he had when he was with this other person. He couldn’t keep fooling himself, though. He knew he’d have to face the truth sometime. Sho just didn’t care about him at all. He was exactly like everyone else even though he wished the other was different. That’s why it was better to give up hope now. Just give up because when you have nothing left to lose, no one can hurt you anymore.
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Post by Braise on Jul 24, 2006 17:28:51 GMT -5
"Sorry..." Sho's breathing was deeper, from watching his master kneel in front of him and do up his pants. It was so different. Des was there willingly, not forcing him to stay still. But with this situation, the boy was just trying to help him dress. He sighed and calmed himself, rubbing at his arm befor emoving to gather up his shirt.....well, not his shirt. He pulled the shirt over his casted arm first before slipping his other arm through and pulling it on right. He supposed he could leave it unbuttoned, but then everyone would look at him funny. He let out a troubled sigh and turned back to Des.
"I know you don't want to be near me, but D.....master, could you please button this for me? It's hard to do with one arm..." He knew he was going to end up hating his broken arm before long, especially soon. If dressing was this hard, what was everythign else going to be like?
((Ugh >_< It's short...sorry!))
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Post by Ichigo Sumiregawa on Jul 25, 2006 10:40:19 GMT -5
With his hands still shaky, Des reached out towards the other’s chest. He paused for a second to take a good look at Sho. Most pets were covered in scars, but not Sho. He didn’t want the other to be hurt and found that he couldn’t bring himself to taint such soft skin. The other’s scent was intoxicating. Even though he’d been close to the other before, this was different. Sho wasn’t scared of him right now and this hadn’t turned into something ugly yet. He liked being near the other and found that it was nice when the other didn’t hide away from him. But of course, such things never lasted long. He shook his head a little and buttoned up the other’s shirt as quickly as he could. It wasn’t a good idea to touch the other for too long. He didn’t know what could happen if he tried to touch something as pure as Sho. The other probably found his touch disgusting anyway. He didn’t really mind that the other hated him that much. It was his own fault that this person acted this way towards him. He was the one that had hurt Sho, not the other way around. Sho wasn’t at fault here at all. But he found that saying such things would only bring trouble and kept his mouth shut.
“Ne, we have to go, alright? Just put the shoes on… I already undid the shoe laces and I’ll tie them back up when we get into the car. No more time wasting, kay? Ne, just…call me Des. I don’t like it when people call me anything else…” he muttered. “Wow! Look at the time! We have to keep moving! Lots of teenage stuff to buy! Like…um…porn! And cigarettes! And um…booze! And…drugs? Where do you get drugs anyway? I hear they grow off plants. Mhmm… Let’s not get drugs. I hear they make you violently sick.”
Okay, he was rambling. It wasn’t his fault, though! Being so close to the other made him nervous. He couldn’t help but become jittery when the person he had feelings for was so close to him. Somehow, Sho made him feel like a child. He couldn’t do anything right when he was around this person. Even though he tried to forget him, Sho kept appearing in his mind. It was rather annoying and frustrating to go through something like this. He didn’t like thinking about the other too much or worrying over his pet, but found that it was something he couldn’t avoid. Even when he tried to be cool about things, everything just turned into something embarrassing or ugly. He didn’t like it when something like that happened, but he couldn’t help it. Maybe he was just born retarded or something. Maybe he had holes in his brain the way alcoholics did. Perhaps he had an addiction because Sho sure felt like a drug sometimes. Addictions weren’t good things. He wasn’t dumb enough to think they were. Des didn’t like being dependant on anything, especially not a person. Some people thought everything was better when you were with someone else, but Des never understood that. If anything, it was dangerous being so close to another person. No one else seemed to share this view thought.
Perhaps he was just weird. Des had always been thought of as strange and he supposed it was true. He wasn’t like everyone else at all and he never seemed to fit in. That was another reason he didn’t go to school like his siblings. He couldn’t seem to fit into society the way they did. Talking to others so casually and being around so many others was something Des couldn’t do. He didn’t understand why it was so hard for him, but maybe it was just how he was. He didn’t like that he was this way, but wasn’t his fault, or at least he liked to think it wasn’t his fault. He tried to give Sho a smile, but it was a rather weak and shaky one. So he walked past the other once he was dressed and muttered something about waiting for him outside. He didn’t want for the other to see him when he was sad. He didn’t want the other to see his feelings period. It was a rather stupid thing, but he didn’t like people knowing what his emotions were at the moment. He was a coward he supposed. He didn’t like facing things like this and ran away from confrontation, but it was better than being hurt. He’d rather have others think he was a coward than have them hurt him. That was just how he thought and nothing could change his mind about it.
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Post by Braise on Jul 26, 2006 20:10:21 GMT -5
Sho listened to him rant and ramble, not knowing what half the things were that Des was talking about. Booze he knew, the guards were always drinking in the In Between. Drugs and porn though? He'd been a teenager when he'd been placed in the Hell Hole of the Earth, a very young, sheltered teenager. He had not a clue that tapes and magazines existed with such lewd of images, or of people having sex. To him, that stuff belonged between two people, and did not need to be shared out of the bedroom. "Alright," he murmured when Des left, moving to slip his feet into the shoes. He had no way to even tie them so he merely followed his masters instructions and walked out, easily finding his way to the large entrance hall.
The boy must be waiting outside, so he walked out, sighing at the sun on his skin, the brightness in his eyes. "All ready Des," he said softly, offering a smile. He'd seen the boys shakey one and wanted to make him feel comfortable, let him know that he had no hard feelings towards the other now. The boy had told him he loved him. Sho was pretty sure the hurt when Des made him do those things came because he loved his master back. He'd never loved before, so he wasn't quite sure, but he had deep, deep feelings for the boy. And it had only been what, two days? Sad, really, but he had it bad.
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Post by Ichigo Sumiregawa on Jul 31, 2006 22:52:48 GMT -5
Breathe Des. Breathe. Even though he kept chanting that in his mind, he couldn’t help but freak out. Did he know?! DID HE KNOW?! Maybe Sho could read minds. He didn’t know anything about the other except his name. And what a nice name it was. Sho. Sweet and simple. It was rather cute too. A cute name for a cute boy… NO! He had to snap out of it. He wasn’t a woman godammit! He was a f**king man! He had to be rational about this. Sho was a pet and someone he had hurt. Even if he wanted to be with the other, he just couldn’t. After all, the other already hated him for what he’s done. Sho was just too kind to say anything bad to him and probably afraid of punishment. He shouldn’t take advantage of such a thing and learn to keep his distance. After all, he didn’t deserve to be with this person anyway. His mother would throw a fit too. She’d probably kill them both for doing such a thing. He’d bring shame to his family and probably get disowned. It wasn’t the fact that he was sleeping with Sho since sleeping with pets was common. The fact that he had feelings for the other is what made the difference. He was sure his mother would never let him forget this. She was the type of person that liked to hold things over you until you were old and dead.
Hesitantly, Des reached out and took the other’s hand in his own. He couldn’t help but blush the slightest bit and turned his head so the other wouldn’t see. It wasn’t that he was embarrassed or anything, he just didn’t want Sho to tease him. There was no reason to feel shy since they’d gone so much farther, but it was the little things like these that really made Des happy. Besides, he wasn’t going to get any other sort of touches from his pet. Sho was probably disgusted by what they were doing right now, so Des quickly led the other to the car. He was nervous about being the backseat with the other, but pretended it didn’t bother him. He was good at that, faking things were alright. It wasn’t like he could sit anywhere else. The driver always made sure he sat in the back like his mother ordered. It wasn’t fair, but then again, most things weren’t. Des led the other into the car first before getting in himself. He leaned down to tie the other’s shoes and felt the heat rise to his cheeks even more. He closed the door when he was finished and pretended he was interested in looking out the window. In truth, it was rather boring, but he didn’t mind. It kept him from looking at Sho and rising suspicion. His hands were folded in his lap and tried to keep them from shaking. He wasn’t doing a good job of keeping calm, but it was worth a shot.
He noted that if he turned his head enough, he could see Sho’s reflection on the window. As hard as he tried, he couldn’t tear his gaze from the reflection. He was acting like such a fool but couldn’t seem to care. When he noted there was something running down his cheeks, he became worried. Of course, he soon found that it was tears falling down his cheeks. He didn’t know why, but he was starting to cry. He rubbed his eyes with his sleeves but that did nothing to stop the tears from falling. Now he was sobbing and his eyes were turning red. Even though he wanted the other to not look at him, he knew Sho would see him crying. The other always saw him when he was at his worst. It seemed the other never saw him when he was in control. He only saw when he was distraught and broken. Des found himself throwing himself into the other’s arms. He wasn’t sure why he was being so sensitive at the moment, but he couldn’t help but get emotional when it came to things involving Sho. He clutched the other’s shirt and found that he was once again wetting the other with his tears. Sho was probably getting used to his emotional outbursts by now. Sometimes, he couldn’t help but cry and most of the time, he didn’t know why.
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Post by Braise on Aug 14, 2006 23:20:33 GMT -5
Sho felt warmth flood into his chest when Des took his hand. His little masters hand was so small in his own and warm. He didn't want to ever let go, but he had to. The driver was giving them funny looks and he had to stoop to duck into the limo. He slid onto the plush leather and waited for Des. He watched him tie his shoes, breath held, face turning a delightful cherry before he remembered that he must breath. The shoes felt wierd, foreign on his feet once tied, and he had to wiggle his toes around a bit to adjust. He was quiet once the car started but his brain couldn't help running. Des-the feelings he evoked-were just as foreign to him as the shoes.
In his scant few days of being here, he'd been overloaded with somany emotions that a pet never got to experience. He'd felt love, pain, sadness and the deepest of bodily hungers. Even now it was so strange that he could feel so much happiness and love for his pretty little master. He had the boys name carved on his arm for heaven sakes-and a broken one to boot. And yet, confusion had never really been that strong in his mind. Sure, he'd been confused plenty by Des, but it had never been a bad confusion.
The car was pretty silent as it went. Sho kept glancing at Des, watching his master in the windows and out of the corners of his eyes. It was so silent, the he heard the boys soft crying before he saw the crystalline tears. Sho turned his eyes to the boy but Des wasn't looking at him, merely out the window. But he looked so heartbroken......Sho wasn't surprised when his master was suddenly in his arms. His arm ached from having to jolt out of the way or be crushed between then, but he didn't even wince. Merely let the boy lean into him, to cry, and listened to his sorrowful tears.
"Can I speak...Des? I know i'm annoying at times and you think I hate you, but you're so wrong, so can I speak freely? Please stop crying..." He set his master back a little so he could look down, stroke tears away from Des' face, seeking his adorations approval.
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Post by Ichigo Sumiregawa on Aug 19, 2006 12:10:11 GMT -5
“You’re not annoying!” Insisted Des before he could stop himself. “Don’t say things like that! And I’m not crying! I’m really not… There was…just dust…in my eye… Don’t worry about me so much because I’ll be fine. Any moment now my eyes will get better again…so…don’t be stupid… Don’t you ever get sick of pretending you care? Don’t you just want to hurt me? This is all…just…so stupid isn’t it? Really…just stupid…”
He was lying and they both knew it. Even though he smiled up at the other, there were still tears streaming down the boy’s face. It made Des feel ashamed to cry in front of the other. He felt even more ashamed now than ever before. He didn’t want the other to see his feelings. It was stupid but he didn’t want the other to know what he was really feeling. He didn’t want this person to think even less of him than he already did. Now Sho must have thought he was a pathetic little boy. Boys didn’t cry, that was something girls did. Yet right now, he was crying more than any girl he’d ever seen. He found himself not being able to look at the other anymore and lowered his head. Even though he wanted to get away from the other, Des buried his face in the other’s chest. He was clutching the other’s shirt as though it were a lifeline and the only thing that mattered. Though this was even more embarrassing than crying, Des decided to do it anyway. Maybe he was just looking for something warm? He didn’t know what he was looking for anymore. He wanted something, but he really didn’t know what.
The boy slipped into the other’s lap. He didn’t know how many other times he seemed to find himself on the other’s lap. It was weird really. His legs were around the other’s waist like many other times before and his arms found themselves wrapped around the other’s upper body. It was a rather compromising position, but Des didn’t mind it at all. He liked being this close to the other and couldn’t help but think about a lot of things that had been going on. His tears were drying up, but they had left a distinct trail down his cheeks. Des couldn’t help but wonder how crappy he looked right now. Had his face turned red already? Did his eyes get puffy? He always seemed to look his worst after he had cried a lot. It wasn’t like he cried because he wanted to, though. Something was always there to make the tears fall. Right now he just needed something to help him deal with whatever was going on inside and it just so happened that this time he had used tears. Sometimes he just needed something as an outlet. Sometimes he just needed something to help control his emotions. It always seemed to Des that there was something wrong with him in the inside. Something wrong with his feelings and such things. The boy leaned upwards so that his mouth was next to the other’s ear.
“Even though we’re not a couple…” he began. “…we…always do those kinds of things… So then…why? You can refuse. You can hurt me if you want. Why are you so confusing Sho? Do you think I’m attractive? Is that it? You needed something to vent your frustrations on? Why is it that you do these things without hesitation? I don’t understand someone like you at all. Because… I’m not pretty or anything stupid like that. There’s no reason for you to want to do those kinds of things…with someone like me… Explain this to me Sho. I don’t get it at all. I’m confused now. I don’t like being confused… Sho…tell me…these things…”
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